Where am I?

As I am jumping into the new year, I am realizing that I am not where I thought I would be..mentally and physically. I find myself profoundly happy one day and wanting to sleep forever the next. I find myself lost. What do I do with these feelings? Sadness weighs my heart down day to day, and I hate it. Somedays I feel like I don't have a clue as to what my purpose on this planet is. What am I here for? What am I supposed to do? My mind is constantly exhausted from these thoughts especially when I cannot find the answers. Depression. Dark rooms. Dark thoughts. Sadness. Unproductive. And Anxiety. Worrisome. Scared. A million things on your mind. I aspire to be happy more days than I am now. I aspire to look to the good things instead of the bad. I want to be free of the sad and worried state that I feel I am trapped inside of. Somedays I feel nothing. Is that human? It worries me. Why do I sometimes become emotionless. Can I fix it? Often, I feel as though I will never be able to be fully fixed from being broken by myself and others. And somedays there is hope. If you are reading this and you relate to every word I say, we can do this right? Yes, and we will. Life is a journey and curveballs get thrown our way everyday, but I want to take them on because I don't want to give up. I don't want to give into my sadness and my worries. I want to be bigger than them, and I will.

XOXO, Aloha

The happy days