Breathe, Just Breathe
It saddens me when I realize just how many people struggle with anxiety every day. Ever since I can remember I have always struggled with anxiety, but on different levels. When I was younger, it didn't affect me in the ways that it does now. Anxiety has managed to control many aspects of my life. This is not something that is easy to control, not even close. Anxiety complicates the things in life that in reality, seem so simple. Overthinking, over reacting, stressing to the point of a breakdown, and emotions running wild. Dealing with this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, and quite honestly, I am still learning. Dealing with it is hard, but also explaining this to other people brings on another level of difficulty. I will always believe that you can never truly understand unless you experience it, but you can come close. I have found myself explaining myself to so many people over and over again, sometimes going nowhere. Most times I don't blame or hate anyone for not understanding because it can be hard to understand. Countless times I have thought myself into an endless cycle of sadness and hopelessness to end up on the shower floor crying a river of tears. How do you explain that to someone? I have tried to think of and search for so many analogies to help those around me understand. Think about only being able to breathe through a coffee straw, every breath feeling restricted and all you want to do is catch your breath, that's a major part of an anxiety attack. Think about walking into a room and feeling as if everyone is looking and judging you, yes this is very common for anyone, but with anxiety, you can never get rid of that feeling. You live in a constant state of worry, even though you could be worrying about absolutely nothing. This year I have found it profoundly difficult to deal with my anxiety, but I do manage to take small steps every now and then. I have found that if someone refuses to understand, or they are not willing to open their minds to this, they are not worth your time. Surround yourself with people that will bring you positive energy, people that can understand, and people that assure their love for you no matter what. I have had my encounters with people that refuse to understand, and I cannot express this enough, it makes it worse. Surrounding yourself with these people will make you take two steps back when you just managed to take one forward. They are not worth your time or your energy. Surround yourself with those people that bring happiness to your heart. Surround yourself with those people that understand you inside and out and make sure you know that they will be there through it all. To everyone struggling with this, I have so much to say, but I will try to sum it up for the sake of this post. You matter, no matter what. You are worth it. Try your best to breathe, and it's okay if you can't sometimes. If you're feeling that anxiety attack approaching you, run a hot bath, light some candles, play your favorite music, call that person that can calm every breath with every word they say. If you have to, let it happen, but know that it does not define you and it should not consume you. You will get through it. Take care of yourself. You won't be able to have a solution to everything and that is okay. Take life one breath at a time, I know it's hard, but try. I believe in you.
XOXO aloha
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